The answer depends on the best interests of the children. This is based on a long list of factors that include the emotional ties between the children and each parent, the views and preferences of the children, the ability and willingness of each parent to provide the children with guidance and education, the plans proposed by each parent for the care and upbringing of the children, and the stability of the family unit. When parents separate, each parent has a right to apply to court for a parenting plan for the children. A judge will make a decision based on the best interests of the children and on the arrangements that were made for their care immediately after separation.

This new concept originated in California. It is based on the idea that an increasing number of separating spouses want to settle their issues with the use of professionals in an inexpensive, amicable and respectful manner. Each spouse retains a family lawyer who is specially trained in collaborative family law. The spouses and their lawyers conduct a series of meetings to negotiate a resolution of the issues. The process is similar to mediation, however, in collaborative family law, if the negotiations are unsuccessful and litigation occurs, neither family lawyer can continue to represent the spouse in court and must withdraw from the case. This limitation is expected to encourage the spouses and their lawyers to use their best efforts in a productive, fair and focused manner to arrive at a resolution so that litigation is unnecessary. It is anticipated that spouses will be more committed and invested in the process to make the negotiations successful and arrive at a favourable outcome.

The old adage “a dollar save is a dollar earned” leads to the real question of how to minimize the financial cost of a divorce.

Here are 2 simple tips:

1) Prove it. You can’t deduct what you can’t prove. This applies to all assets that you owned when you got married and any assets that you accumulated from gifts and inheritances during marriage. You also will need to prove any debts that you have at separation if you want to deduct them. If you can’t prove the assets you owned at marriage, any assets from gifts and inheritances during marriage and any debts existing at separation, you will be parting with much more of your money at separation. Conversely, you need to uncover and prove your spouse’s debts at marriage and assets at separation. These figures too will either increase what your spouse pays you or what you collect from your spouse. So in conclusion, keep good records. This includes all of your tax returns and monthly bank, investment and credit card statements. A home video of your possessions at marriage can be very useful.

2) Be informed. Education is power and power is valuable. Meet with a Family lawyer to know your rights and obligations resulting from cohabitation, marriage, children, death and divorce. Each event will trigger a different set of rights and obligations.

The unforeseen financial consequences of divorce can be avoided or diminished with knowledge and planning.