Mediation is an opportunity to try to settle your case. In most cases, we are able to help parties have productive conversations with the mediator. But it is not right for everyone. If you and the other party are both willing to try to reach an agreement rather than have the court decide for you, we suggest you submit your intake forms and schedule separate intake meetings. This will help you and us decide if mediation is suitable in your case. Even if you do not proceed with mediation, you will both receive good information and supportive referrals.

This very issue was addressed by Mr. Justice Allan Boudreau in the Nova Scotia Supreme Court decision of Peters v. Graham (N.S.J. No. 452 (November 15, 2001)). The court ordered that a man whose wife deceived him into believing he was the biological father of twins for ten years pay child support, albeit at a reduced amount, since the children have two other fathers. Gregory Neil Peters argued that he should not have to pay support because he was misled by his ex-wife, Lisa Anne Graham, regarding the children’s paternity. The father stated that he would like to continue having a close relationship with the children, however, not as a father, but as a friend. The lawyer for the ex-wife argued that the decision should emphasize the best interests of the children and not focus on the actions of the parents. Under the Child Support Guidelines, a judge has the discretion to order a spouse or former spouse who is not a biological or adoptive parent, but who stands in the place of a parent, to pay child support.

Family mediators operate as private businesses and are not regulated, therefore, their fees can vary. Some courts and community agencies offer mediation services for fees that are charged according to the spouses’ incomes. A family lawyer will be able to provide recommended names of family mediators and the availability of mediation services through the courts and community agencies.